My Story Part 2 (telling the world and finding the family)

After I decided adoption was the right thing I search through alot of profiles online I e-mailed 5 families but I already had my favorite one picked out... in my head I knew I would be so sad if they didn't want my baby. Adoption was a whole new world to me I didn't know how it worked I thought it was so inconsiderate of me to even think these people wanted a baby in 4 months was just so soon! was so worried that I wouldn't be able to find a family that wanted my child. Boy was I wrong!  They were more then willing to have a child so soon. Rebecca and Jared were by far my favorite couple I just had a wonderful feeling when I looked at hier page and read the e-mails from them.
 After that night I knew I had to tell everyone else... So I asked my sweet sister Amy to go out to lunch with me I showed her the ultra sounds and she didn't judge me I think she was more shocked then anything else...I was still to scared to tell my parents.. but that same day Amy and my other sister Darcy went and talked to my Bishop and he came over and asked me to tell my parents...
That night I did boy it was the worst time in the world to tell them they were leaving the next week on a Cruise and I really didn't want this hanging over their heads while they were supposed to be having fun...
I try to forget the day I told them never in my life had I felt more like a disappointment and a failure... I remember watching my Mom cry. But I also remember the love they showed me they supported my choice although they wanted to make sure that I made it for the right reasons. I remember the Hug I gave my dad that day we had been through so much together the in the past year and when he hugged me I actually felt hope that I might be okay after this... I knew my parents still loved me even though I had made a mistake and even though I was going to cause them pain when the time came to place my little baby.
Then the thing that gave me the most hope was about 4 days after i had sent my goodbye letter to the Elder I was at work and I remember getting a phone call from my Dad. He told me that the strangest thing happened to him he had gotten a phone call from a young Elder in California asking "what can I do to help Katy"  I was in shock surely I couldn't be lucky enough to still have him care about me. I was used and worthless or so I thought... The Elder called me later on that night and kindly reminded me that I was a daughter of God.... he also reminded me that we all make mistakes but that doesn't make worthless we will always be children of God. I needed that jolt back to reality.
The Friends I had also didn't desert me they respected my choice although some didn't think it was the best idea they kept their opinions to themselves.

The Elder came home 2 1/2 months after he got the letter and helped me through the rest of my pregnancy he was their with me every step of the way.  He even came with me to meet Jared and Rebecca